You’re Not Broken. You’re Becoming. Why Healing Isn’t About Being “Fixed” and How the Nervous System Holds the Keys

“Why am I STILL healing this issue???”

“I thought I was DONE with this!”

“Why aren’t I healed yet?”

“Here it is AGAIN! Why can’t I just get over this?!”

If these words have ever escaped your lips—or echoed in the quiet rooms of your mind—you are not alone. You’re human. You’re healing. And no, nothing is wrong with you.

We’ve inherited a collective misunderstanding of what healing actually is.

Somewhere along the way, we absorbed the idea that to heal means to be done. That it’s a destination we arrive at when we’ve finally “done the work,” paid our dues, taken the supplements, gone to therapy, meditated for a decade, and integrated all our shadow parts.

Yet, that belief—that healing is a finish line we can cross—is part of the very wound we’re trying to heal.

And today, I want to invite you into a deeper truth:

Healing isn’t about getting rid of the wound.

It’s about learning how to live with it, through it, and even because of it.

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The Nervous System’s Role in Our Healing Loops

Before we dive into the spiritual and emotional aspects of this, let’s bring in the body—because healing is not just a metaphysical process. It’s biological, it’s cellular, and it’s deeply tied to the nervous system.

Our nervous system is our internal surveillance system. It tracks threat, safety, connection, and overwhelm in every moment. And when we’ve experienced trauma—whether big-T or little-t—our nervous system stores that imprint as a survival map.

These survival maps don’t just “go away” because we’ve journaled or done affirmations. They’re encoded in the body through neural pathways, hormonal patterns, muscle tension, and subconscious defense strategies.

When you find yourself back in the same wound—again—it’s not because you’ve failed.

It’s because your nervous system is revisiting an old pathway.

That’s what it knows. That’s what kept you safe.

And the body doesn’t let go of something unless it has a more regulated option.

That’s why we spiral through the same patterns. Not because we’re broken—but because the nervous system is trying to reprocess something it wasn’t safe enough to digest before.

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Stop Asking If You’re “Done”

“Am I there yet?” is a question rooted in the wounded child who still believes that their pain makes them bad. Unworthy. Broken.

That very question—“Why can’t I just get over this?”—comes from the wound itself.

It’s the pain of not being fully accepted in your vulnerability. It’s the urgency to feel lovable again. It’s the desperation for relief in a world that rarely slows down enough to hold space for your rawness.

But what if your healing wasn’t meant to be rushed?

What if it’s not about “getting over” anything?

What if it’s about becoming someone new in relationship with the wound?

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Relief Is Natural. But It Can’t Be the Goal.

Longing for relief from pain is normal. It’s human. We all want to feel better.

But when our primary goal becomes escaping discomfort, we bypass the very portals that are here to transform us.

You see, relief doesn’t come from pushing the wound away. It comes from moving through it with presence, trust, and nervous system safety.

The moment we stop making pain the enemy… we open the door to power.

Because healing isn’t a straight line.

It’s a spiral.

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Healing Is a Spiral, Not a Timeline

We spiral through lessons.

We revisit old pain.

We touch back into grief we thought we’d buried.

And that doesn’t mean we’ve regressed—it means we’re being given a new chance to relate to our wounds with more presence, more strength, more compassion.

The spiral shows us where we’ve grown.

Where we still flinch. Where we still armor. Where we still collapse.

And that’s ok.

You will be in some classrooms for a lifetime. Maybe many lifetimes.

But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck.

It means you’re in process—exactly as you’re meant to be.

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Nervous System Healing: A Portal, Not a Performance

In trauma-informed healing, we recognize that symptoms are not problems—they’re protectors.

That anxiety? It’s your body trying to alert you.

That shutdown? It’s your body preserving energy.

That people-pleasing? It’s your body seeking safety in connection.

When we honor the intelligence of the nervous system, we stop trying to perform our way into “wellness.”

We start listening instead.

Somatic healing isn’t about chasing a regulated state. It’s about building a wider window of tolerance. One where you can hold more sensation, more truth, more of your own aliveness—without breaking.

So next time the wound reappears, and your nervous system goes into hyperdrive…

Pause.

Breathe.

Place a hand on your body.

And say: “It makes sense that I feel this way.”

This simple act shifts your nervous system from self-judgment into self-connection. From fight-or-flight into felt safety.

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Stop Trying to Be “Healed.” Start Being Real.

What if the goal wasn’t to be done, but to be true?

True to your process.

True to your body.

True to your rhythms.

True to the deeper wisdom encoded in your discomfort.

Because when you stop pushing for resolution and start embracing evolution, everything changes.

You stop needing to be perfect.

You stop judging your triggers.

You stop hiding your pain.

You start becoming more you.

And that’s the point.

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What If the Wound Is the Portal?

Some of your deepest pain will never fully vanish.

And that’s not failure—it’s initiation.

In many spiritual traditions, the wound is not something to erase. It’s something to tend. To understand. To integrate.

In shamanic wisdom, the wound is the place where spirit enters.

In somatic therapy, the wound is the place where the nervous system learns new pathways of connection and safety.

In soul work, the wound is the place where power returns.

You don’t need to be fixed.

You need to be held.

By yourself. By others. By the Earth.

Stop racing to get to the finish line.

Start walking the spiral path with reverence.

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Final Words: Keep Going

Healing is messy.

It’s full of spirals, loops, and returns.

You are not doing it wrong.

You are not behind.

You are not broken.

You are growing—through layers, through lifetimes, through nervous system patterns that were once essential for survival.

Now, you’re writing a new story.

One breath at a time. One spiral at a time.

So when the voice rises again—

“Why am I STILL healing this?!”—

Answer gently:

“Because I am still becoming. And nothing has gone wrong.”

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Author’s Note

You are the medicine. You are the home you’ve been looking for. And your nervous system is not your enemy—it’s your guide.

If you’re ready to deepen your healing through nervous system regulation, energetic alignment, and soulful embodiment, my offerings support the spiral. Because we weren’t meant to do this alone.

Angela L. Holmes, Nervous System Intutive™, Spiritual Energy Alchemist,

Soul Travel Compass™

Visit angelalhomes.com for guided activations and energy tools designed for real, embodied transformation. Not the kind that fixes you. The kind that frees you.

Enjoy the Journey it wasn't meant to exclude anything, it was meant to be raw, real and true exactly for you.